the problem was that she complained
The story of Mary and Martha found in Luke 10:38-42 has been subject to a lot of hot takes. The very limited number of stories about women, and further about women who are named makes it susceptible to all sorts of interpretations about who women are and who they should be.
As a recap, Jesus goes to visit Mary and Martha's house. Note there is not a man attached to this house in the story as there normally is, so that should make us sit up and take notice. Martha runs around doing all the serving, and Mary sits and listens to Jesus teaching.
Martha gets frustrated and says ‘WTF, why am I the only one working here?’ and Jesus says, ‘calm down’ Mary did the right thing. Which tells us that he hasn’t got hangry yet because no one is serving his food or taking care of the hospitality side of things.
This weekend I have been reflecting on a evangelical women’s weekend I went to many years ago. The hot take at that conference was that Martha did the wrong thing because she complained.
She was allowed to be frustrated. She was allowed to be upset. But don’t let anyone see or hear those emotions, girl. You push them down and do what you need to do. And I lapped up that teaching because it was teaching I had heard all my life. I remember going home and being frustrated that someone had left a big mess in the kitchen, and I told myself - don’t complain. Push down those frustrations and do the job you are meant to do. That is, serve everyone else while keeping a smile on your face so that no one else is inconvenienced by your emotions.
I am still trying to unlearn this lesson. And I am trying to push back against those who are still trying to reinforce it.